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A  D E V O N S H I R E  D I A L E C T  P O E M

Me, me wive an’ little Joe Dexter
Us all agreed to set off vur Ex’ter
Zo off us zet, one mornin together
Wi’ dree yaw-sheep—a ram and a wether.

But w’en us com’ to the Parish S’n Thomas—
Drat me ! if the ran didn’ rin, ert away vrom us
An’ up ’er rin dru Vore Street
—knocked down a Baker’s b’y—the vust ’er met
—Upset w’at pon top of hees head hee’d got,
An brorke th’ gert dish, and spult th’ whit-pot.

Then ’er rin dru Jan’s Baw
An’ up along th’ Buttcher Raw
W’ere I zold un to Buttcher Bautrum
Cause he shouldnt play I anither zich a tantrum.

Then us went to Maester Kingdon’s—th’ zine of th’ Hammer
W’ere us bought a pair of spartacles vur poor ole Grammer—
Vur Grammar’s bline, an’ can’t vurry vull zee
T’other day her tuk an ole Jackass vur me!

An’ then us went to the Guildhall
An zeed two Lawyers all of a Brawl
Zays Moll to I ’They dont brawl vur nort—
No Moll says I they be well paid vor’t.

An’ then us goed to the Cathedrall
W’ere us yeard th’ gert organ—vurry musicall,
Says Moll to I,—I could sit yere all me live
’Zo the mite Moll says I, an I’ll git anither wive !

[The poem as printed inside the back cover of the
original "Golden Hammer", and quoted in Chapter 3]

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